In the vast silence that separates us since that unbelievably melancholic yet perfect sunset, it dwells into me that nothing better comes out of goodbyes. Its as same as theres no such thing as a dignified death because all deaths, no matter how tragic or peaceful it might be, the end of something always brings despair and sadness. Its always awful and bitter that no matter how much facade we put up front, loneliness is undeniable. Sometimes when I look back, I cant help but feel dismayed of the outcome of what you and I once had shared. Its disheartening knowing that how once upon a time you were someone that made me look forward to the mornings. And yet now, it is a struggle to wake up to nothing and to end the day with no one.
I think it was Mark Twain who said that to get the value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with. Half of this year has been crazy for me, but i get by. The day I knew I was over you I just had the strange feeling that I can get by anything. I had to because if i let myself drown into the poignant pits, no one will revive me. I had my shares of joy amidst the battles I have fought and still fighting, but what lacks is that someone who would just embrace me win or loose.
There are days that I would just suddenly think of you and its more of a good thing now than a bad one. Im just learning to recognize your after effects in me. I cant change the fact that what I am right now and will be to the one next line after you is a result of those wonder times of our togetherness. And trust me, you brought out more than the best in me. Just by that I am forever grateful. If not for you I wouldnt know how it really is to feel alone. Ironic as it may sound but thanks for making me feel lonely. It made me realize that theres someone out there I will look forward to and whose mornings I would brighten just by my mere existence. Im more than thankful to have you as such before. But since there are really things out of our control, you and I can only hope that time will come that we give fate yet another chance to let us take chances on other people. Wherever you are right now, whoever you may be with, I pray that when we meet again we can say to each other that God didnt just prepared someone better for us, but made you and I better for them. Till i see you
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