Patience or My Lack of

Self-control is a virtue.

Of the recent events that happened to me (nothing too fancy really but not uneventful nonetheless), I've come to terms with my patience, on how it would surprisingly go beyond it's usual limit (it never occurred to me i had a " patience threshold", until just recently as i am typing this) and on how it would automatically cease to exist.

When I find myself patient-ER, i dunno if my patience had some sort of extension, like a definition upgrade or, I just got fed up with dealing with arguments (the usual aftermath if I cant keep it all together) that I just let the situation be. I'm so much of a lazy person that i even slack on my patience, so yeah there's truth with the later. But i would also like to believe that somehow, in a way or two, i have eventually outgrown a portion of my temper tantrums. It's still there, but moderate i should say (this is so a misnomer like you know the moderate greed crap). So, i guess, like the law, my patience too have some sort of exceptions. The classical "it-depends" excuse.

It depends upon the situation. It depends who is involved. It depends on whats the catch.. It depends... It depends... Eat the freaking fence! I seem to have all these parameters that totally defeats the essence of patience. Which in return makes me realize if the above mentioned "when i found myself patient-ER" has the same contradiction when i say im a graduate but i never really did graduate. (i firmly believe what's important is not the graduation but what happens after that, the drinking! hahahaha)

I always get it from people that i talk and think beyond my age and the more I get that line, the more i tend to analyze if am i really beyond my maturity level (whatever it maybe) or they're kinda slacked on their's which makes me figuratively more mature???

Their lack of something, is abundant to me. In context, i am patient enough relative to some people because I happen to be that kind of person who doesn't give a shit unless it is substantial in my definition.

When a friend told me that I have an enormous amount of patience (that coming from a parent), it made me thought on obvious reasons on why im very very impatient.

1. I cant stand queuing on line when theres more than 2 persons in front.
2. I cant stand idling on traffic for more than 2 minutes.
3. I cant stand having to wait ice for my beer.
4. I cant stand it when it takes forever for people to take their shot. (shot na para igat!)
5. I cant stand dial up.

I wasn't trying to contradict her observations nor my patience for that matter. I mean, i felt a lil proud hearing such a thing because i've always thought that (most) parents are like the patience icon. But I cant help it but prove a point to myself that maybe i really do have patience, i just happen to have a very selective one.

So to rest my case and feel good that finally I updated my blog, I think patience starts when you lose it and gained it back after two deep breaths. When you just went self-destructing mode, temper as huge as a mushroom cloud for 5 seconds but back to composure on the 6th.You kept it cool after two curses or so (uttered or thought), gained a needed short term memory loss and gave out a free hug all because some people are worth losing your patience to.

im living errrr bumming around...