Because You Asked, I Answered

There are questions asked from us that if were presented in a much earlier time we would take a moment to gather up our thoughts before coming up with an answer. Most of the time this answer is encrypted with hesitations and even fear because deep inside, thats the one question were not yet ready to respond to or even hear.

Last night, I didn't expect to come about a question I'm positively sure I couldn't have come up with a straight and direct answer if it was asked from me a year ago. A year ago was another story, and the question that was raised doesn't really matter. What made a lot of sense to me last night was how far I have took myself from moving on and that I'm still going further.

My answer was brutal but I threw in some sort of funny line to ease the tension. I just didn't want to be taken too seriously even if I was dead serious. I just know it would hurt because it was the truth. And as far as i know that truth now was a total lie not so long time ago.

I admit I grieved. I let myself succumbed to sadness because I find that theres nothing wrong to recognize loss. I cried. Buckets even, because somehow the pain was worth the tears and I was hurt.

People cry when they are hurting not from pain but for who caused it.

But Its all over now (even way before), I took my time to get over. I know I did because I had bravely managed to convert false hopes into a reality that its not gonna happen. And I'm not letting it happen because at times meant to be's just have specified time frames. It was hard to get a grip of that but I did, eventually.

Last night i conquered what was once a fear but now i consider the known. It is somehow a triumph over the past, of things that we always thought would confuse us or limit the steps we take. And most, it is my realization that I didnt said words which i held so dear to me not until I was really really really sure I'm ready to live up with it.