The chances of me failing my major for this semester is as broad as daylight. Actually i see it coming. When you dont have the mindset to actually want this course and actually have a sane reason to push through, failing is inevitable. I just dont get the whole idea of excerting effort to something that doesnt mean to me. Maybe for some it is important, but we are all different, we have different priorities and sad to say this is not what I want, it will never be.
I have begged to my parents to let me shift to another course. That it would be for the good of my sanity and my well being as well. But then, because they are my parents and I still have a conscience that I will be the first child and the first grandchild on my dad's side to graduate college, i pushed through even if it meant my heart shattering into gazillion pieces.
If theres one thing this course taught me though its about being mediocre. The moment i stepped foot in my college capmpus I knew im going to settle to the borderline of passing and failing. I used to be somebody who excel. I know for myself that im not average, but when the white curse came into my life, i became dumb. I wanted to be dumb. I dont want it to take what is left of me, my shattered pride and my effort.
And so as I wait for the verdict, im preparing myself to fail. Technically its new to me, but it dosnt fit my very definition of failing. This is the end of the line for me, and im gonna walk away with my dignity intact, because finally I can wear colored panties!!!
bleh!
sad post. but you will only fail if you let yourself fail. there is always something as giving our best... amidst things that we are in no capacity to change (yet). so i say, i hope you did well in your exams today. so we can celebrate with, what the heck, another bottle of paul mason! shot para igat! |
this is a sad entry. i mean, you will only fail if you let yourself fail. diba we can still be at our best, even in those situations which we cannot change (yet). so sana naging maayos ang exam mo kanina, dahil nag-aantay pa si paul mason sa atin para sa celebration. shot para igat! |
it must be very liberating wearing colored panties! hurrah! |
it's weird coz even though i wasn't forced in to nursing, sometimes i find myself hoping to "just pass". bittersweet post. |
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