Free Hugs

I can still remember how it felt when he wrapped his arms around me the moment I opened my apartment's door. Cheesy, but I can actually re-live that moment right now in my thoughts as im typing. That moment when he hugged me in the deepest and yet simplest essence as far as hugging was concern. I needed that hug. I needed his free hug (and hugssss) to remind me that it wasnt a boring day. Because how can it possibly be boring when you get to have someone who has a lasting imprint of a hug in you? The kind that you can feel before it actually happens, while it is happening and even after it happened.

About a few months back i posted this entry "Of Hugs" because i was soo moved about an email I got from CNB which gave me a link to this inspiring and totally awwww-momenty (if there is such a word) video "Free Hugs". The whole thing somewhat started or i should say made the both of us realize of what it really meant to give each other a hug and to receive one. It was one of those "life -pauses" that made me come into conclusion that things are falling into place and life does actually get better, a lot better.

So when Aldrin shared to me what happened with his day (which without his knowledge was Melbourne's love day) I was more than ecstatic hearing it from him that he actually met the guy behind the Free Hugs Campaign, Juan Mann. I was totally starstrucked of the idea that he met the guy who got millions of hits in YouTube (ok i need to set aside my geekness) and of course who made a worldwide impression that a simple gesture actually means a whole lot of loving.

Aldrin says: Im not short, im just sitting down. hehe

Mayor Duterte, the Kick-ass Mayor

"He's the most honest politician I know. Im serious! We need blokes like that in England", Wayne said in his Hugh Grant accent as he was telling me what was all over the news, Mayor Duterte cursing at Congressman Nograles.

Im used to the profanity part since im an avid viewer of his show "Gikan sa Masa Para sa Masa". Boy do i love hearing Fuck You's, Putang Ina, Mga Gago, Bullshit, Pisting Yawa etc etc being thrown out on a Sunday morning to theives , drug pushers, rapist, corrupt public officials and even alcoholic dads who beats up their wife and kids. I have no qualms about him cursing because i understand that as someone who maintains peace and order in this city in the most possible (and even impossible) way he can, he would seriously flare up to those people who didnt have anything better to do than commit crimes.

This cursing has been going on since the show started (i believe it has been on air for a few years now) and it has never been an issue not until just recently Congressman Nograles tasted what i would love to call the Digong special, "Bullshit ka Boy. Fuck You!"

Im not really sure what exactly was the main reason why he was so mad at the congressman but it definitely has something to do with the little girl who allegedly committed suicide because of poverty, Marianeth Amper. The two officials have been said to be arguing about who lacked programs that could have saved this little girl's life if indeed she ended her life because they were poor.

A source told me that what triggered Mayor Duterte's point per point blow to Nograles was his statement that it's Duterte's fault that the kid died because of so and so fundings were not used to where they were allocated for.

He could have said it better, in a way that no one person should be blame. Im not sure how he would say it but im pretty sure neither one of them wanted that girl to die nor would be put to blame to the girl's death. He should have helped figure out what went wrong, if there were lapses not start pinpointing and say out loud that he has nothing to do with the "local" because his in the "national".

Duh!

But he is right though, he has nothing to do with the local scene because as far as i am concerned Mayor Rodrigo Duterte has been totally hands on to what he swore, "Dont fuck with my city or else...."

What? She Did That?

She had to be absent for class because her parents cant afford to give her fare to go to school.

Im a lazy ass who takes the cab almost every morning because my body naturally rejects the idea of waking up early and id be damn late if i take the jeep.

She wrote a letter to this tv program (which she never had the chance to send) and asked for her parents to have a decent job, a new pair of shoes, a bag and a bike.

My Christmas wish list is composed of a psp lite, a new digital camera, a few shirts from A&F and Hollister and either one of my parents to be home for my graduation.

She wrote her everyday ordeal in her artista covered notebook.

I type away in my laptop and post my thoughts in my blog courtesy of my own wifi in my apartment.

She hanged herself to cope.

I go diving to forget my hangups.

Point being, comparing her to me makes me feel bad about myself which is a good thing and the best thing to feel right now.... disappointed at myself.

It scared the shit out of me that a 12 year old girl committed suicide, whats scarier is that she took her life away because they were poor. They were so poor their other poor neighbors kids wouldnt even play with them. It's totally absurd! Thats like discrimination to the second power!

Davao has been dubbed as the most child friendly city in the Philippines for a couple of years now, and to hear such sad, horrific and i totally think morbid news is something I would not wish on my own worse enemies (that is if i have some). We're suppose to be the most livable city in the country and yet a 12 year old girl killed herself because she was no longer living but suffering from drop bottom poverty.

When i heard and saw the news i just couldnt digest the idea that something like that could actually happen. It never occurred to me that someone at that age can be suicidal. When I was 12 i did got a lot cuts and bruises but it was all because i was hyperactive not masochistic. I didnt even know what suicide meant at that time. I did understand that people die, but at that time, I only thought of every white haired people i came across with as the only candidates.

12 year olds dont die, much more, they dont kill themselves. Or so i thought.

I know this is a serious matter and trust me this is the most brutally honest totally sarcastic free question I would like myself (and anyone who would be interested) to ponder...

Lahi na dyud ang generation karon?

Read her story here

Deal or No Deal

Last night a man from the past asked me something i did not dared to ask him when I learned that he had found someone. Someone who happened to be the next one after me, someone whom i can only wish treats him right and he will treat right. Out of decency and i guess of pride, I kept my question to myself because time and a certain degree of maturity had made it possible for me to move on. And with that comes the reality that we don't actually get over loving someone, we still do, in newer ways that is, we just happen to find someone who we can love more, more than we could have possibly thought of before.

It felt a little awkward being caught off guard but i guess it was about time to settle the score. He needed to hear it from me, and i myself needed to hear what I was about to say.

It was a yes or no question but i took my time to answer, not because i didn't know what to say but because I just cant imagine Aldrin being out of the picture....

So i told him my thoughts and I guess from that a permanent ink has been drawn on the line.

I believe i have known him enough to defend him from myself that he wasn't intending to screw up my mind or offend someone. He was just trying to look out for me, of what i have become after him. He needed to get over his "need to know" feeling because he had honestly told me that although he was the one who left without prior notice, he now feels that he is the one left behind.

He wast the one who broke my heart to minute fragments, who turned his head away when i told him i still needed him but, he is the one who im helping out shrug off his assumptions that fate has thrown him bad karma. I want him to get rid off that because i never wished him bad things i even heartfully wished that he gets to have the best things in life. To be honest im not even sure how to deal with him or even on if i should be even dealing with him to begin with. All I know is that it would help a lot if at least one person believes at what he is capable of even if he ran out of it for himself.

And i couldnt have done it, if i dont have someone who lets me be the better person that i should be.

im just ok with that...kabalo man ko na ako man ka

the hmmmmmmmm look