CP Week

I almost had it with my group that its seriously way better getting 40 for the case presentation than get all stressed out from their lack of use of their initiative. Initiative, i believe is innate and its just being possessed with laziness that people tend to be very stagnant. I think so because i also have the tendency to flip my priorities top to bottom when the bad wind hits me. But when the situation mandatory requires me to be at least a little bit responsible, i try to lower than the notch of my procrastination. (It's hard to go all the way cold turkey when its becoming a daily habit.)

For this semester i purposely choose not to be the leader/slave of the group because i think other people should have their time to shine too (this is the glorified version of, i think we need to take turns on who gets the least sleep and the biggest eye bags). And I'm not really the leader. Well not technically, or so i thought. Though how much i hid myself from the limelight, cooperated when my "membership" was needed and did nothing more or less of what was expected of me, it still haunts me. The prey eyes of my former group mates knows how to melt my heart to succumb to their request of help. Plus they know very well I can never say no to brewed coffee. After all, i think its pay back time for all the backup excuses they effortlessly and kindly did for me when i go invisible mode. They save my ass, I save their ass. Its the golden rule.

There's just a few setbacks that i pointed out when I tried to resuscitate our group back. I specifically mentioned that under any circumstances I do not want to hear anybody whining about having too much work to do. I don't care if your too lazy to do it, you don't know how do it (this is really the lamest excuse considering we are on our "senior" year) your juggling time to do it, or you think your so goddamn special you shouldn't be doing it. That's fair enough considering i did all 2 and helped out on the rest out of the 4 manuscripts we have passed. I'm not gonna be the hero again. I think its better we get zero than one of us suffering from induced narcolepsy and information overload.

So this week, I'm brazing myself. I know i can handle the sleepless nights well, the "pressure" and the interrogation of our instructor. What i don't want to be dealing with are complete sissies who think they're better off doing less or completely nothing because they are pesky obese spoiled brats who spent their entire childhood hauling off foods from their fridge.

I don't give a damn if your "somebody", especially if your the kind who cant pick their own brain up on the floor.

His Indefinite Leave

Before 9:05 last Wednesday night, he was sitting in one of those rows of plastic chairs, excited to go back to home and at the same time saddened of an indefinite leave from her. Her who embraced this young nomad with all her arms and he reciprocated by loving everything about her. Her simplicity, her food, her people and most just being herself on a lazy day at the beach.

I remember the first time i met him, crown regency in the wee hours of the morning. I lost count on the Red Horse ive drowned into and the kids who were puking, he passed by to join the party and had already consumed X number of bottles before hand. We talked by the pool, hardly making sense since the good cold beer was kicking in but there was a commonality, the excitement about the kadayawan and the interest to know more about each other.

The party didnt ended yet but we had to part ways. Tomorrow or i should say later was another day for him to have her his way, with loads of real fun.

Since then i havent saw him much but we were constantly conversing through the words we write to express out ourselves. We rarely bump into each other, or each other's friends. Occasionally if opportunity permits, he and i meet up to catch up and of course find soberness in intoxication. And in those encounters I could not help but be in retrospect that in some way, he unknowingly taught me to think out of the box. That its alright not to be sure yet of what we want as long as we know what we dont want.

Coffee, photos, red wine, pastas and friends were shared, as well as stories of the best and worse. It's a relief knowing you have somebody you can share certain interest with and at the same time would listen and make you listen back. He's one of those people with a few words to say but would hit you back good. Like you need to do some deep thinking and stop whining. He and I were almost always like that, and of course with alcohol (if there's no flight the next day) on the side.

Impromptu is no overstatement here in Davao that is why it was easy to get in touch. But then since at this very moment he is back to where he should be for now, the red wine sessions are put to hault indefinitely too.

And so as he bid a silent goodbye to her, the city he had grown to love dancing with to the beats of life. My Davao, of which he was and still is a part of, I raised a cold ice red horse and drink it straight up to my long haired and good friend Kuya Jerry.

PS.

Sorry I didnt won, but salamat sa cheers! hahahahahaha

Just Keep Pressing the Green Triangle

There are times when I wish to comfort is an extraordinary power like how superman can get himself to fly or how spidey does that shooting web trick from his arm. In that way its easier to accept that it is somehow impossible and out of this world. But truthfully, although its easy to say and wish to do, to comfort somebody when their hopes are down is no job of a superhero, but an involuntary act of someone who simply cares.

The closer you are to a person is directly proportional to how much you want to comfort them pronto and how clueless you can get on what to do to. Somehow it disrupts the idea that we know much or enough of this person to know what and what not to do but I guess the negative side of things always stir people up and our reactions as well to become unpredictable.

I remember the summer of 2006. The heat gets as far as penetrating your internal organs and what was worse was it was those days when i wasn't much of myself. Although the bitchy (blame humidity) part was still there I cannot help but think that at that point in time I loosed it. Both the walls i build around my self and the safety net in case i go free falling to rock bottom. Friends were there whether I needed them and even when i thought i didn't. But no matter how grateful I am for the overwhelming love and overflow of alcohol they cannot do something about it unless I start making my own move.

They're the one who paused with me but kept on pushing that play button until they were sure and I too, that I'm "working" again.

I havent been through a lot, but i guess i had enough to see things at a better perspective than i used to. Now, i think about every circumstances or events as an opportunity. A sort of deception because when you learned that lesson, that certain lesson that there is a purpose for everything, every person you meet, every thing you have, every event you take part of, plus every hurt you get along the way, you get to accept that at the same time that shit happens something better also does.

It takes a while to get the hint but eventually it will just come into you. Like an epiphanythat sucks your life force out and blast you with a better one.

And i think when you really do care about somebody its like that. Sucking up their negative vibe till you can get enough hell out of them that they can manage to deal. You stay or become optimistic than ever because when a friend is all bruised up with life, and you get them to smile just for a second you make their load and yours as well lighter.

Im no super hero thats for sure. But somehow i've learned to cope and help the people i care about to do the same. Words, hug, food, goofing around and yes even a few rounds of drinks may not be much but its something to start with.

In The Process of Moving

4 years is 4 years. Although i hate to leave something i have gone used to. The uncomplicated means to get entries posted, and ofcourse my url (huhuhuhu), my eager allowance cannot afford to keep up with the city's demand for monthly bills. And so while im in the process of keeping 4 years worth of writting my thoughts away and its handful effortly left comments i decided to jump over the fence and for the mean the time being "continue" what i have started here.

The deadline is still up till the end of the year but then again its always good to have plan b when plan a due to insufficient funds cant be pulled off. Im not yet bidding goodbye because im still crossing my fingers the guys at blogcity might, just might change their minds hehehehe.

I must move on and make another move here http://shawtycomplex.blogspot.com

See you.

Ps. i tried to get as much links as i can whether they are dead or not. I just like the feeling of "home".

posted Monday, 27 August 2007and so therefore... (2)

blueskies made this comment,

i guess i'll see you on the other side. :D

comment added :: 27th August 2007, 21:28 GMT+08

lushlips made this comment,

ei, sundan kita don ha... i already created an accnt sa blogspot but i cant remember my login. nyahahha... c u on oct. 13-20 yahooooooooooo!

comment added :: 31st August 2007, 02:33 GMT+08