Sunday Blab

Theres a fresh brewed cup of coffee within reach, a donated lighter, marlboro as breakfast substitute, wifi in the apartment and john mayer's music playing in the air. Sunday mornings havent felt this good in ages. Its been awhile since i've really laid back. Four books on the waiting list really means I need some serious break. I used to have a lot of time in hands. I can stop the most important task to grab a few hours of perspective. Lately i find myself drowned to all the nonsense I have to deal with. But enough with the crapy whatevers....

Its the first day of October and im so psyched about the sagada escapade that at times i have to stop myself from being so giddy. I just love this feeling of having something to look forward to, its like falling inlove minus the complicated men and heartbreak issues hahaha. I have to put it on record that i was sheepishly smiling while typing down that last sentence hehehe.

Im happy that ive fully got back that sense of being happy to the smallest and even mundane things. Like happy meal toys, cooking pasta for friends, getting my snotty level supervisor to smile and finding six pesos under my bed. Gawd, i so want to savor these moments, they are the only thing plus ccino's kisses that gets me through day by day.

A few days back I was hanging out with my favorite N clinical instructor (because i just love the way he carries his uniform) and a few guys from monday group. We were talking about happiness over redhorse and I was glad that although we had one common denominator, each of us have different versions of it. I kinda like the way the german guy talked about how he see's things. For a moment we were hitting on eachother but sadly he's alcohol tolerance was something I should really reconsider. The night ended with the monday group literally down and me and sir O looking for spare change for the cab. Were so not drinking with the monday group again hahahaha.

My mobile phone have been screwing up lately. The side button where I can change the ringing settings is not working anymore and worse everytime i get a call i have to put it on speaker phone since i cant hear the other line in the receiver. Im not much of a phone person. I find it a waste of investment if i "upgrade" to those new models. If it rings and i can receive and send sms, and ok it has to be atleast colored im all fine with it. Im thinking of getting the same one as my deteriorating phone if ever im getting a new one. Its a weird kinda oc thing plus that "hello moto" ring tone addiction.

Carlo got me hooked on this tv series from fox, prison break. Its all about this genius structure engineer who got himself in prison so he can get his brother out of the death sentence. The frustrated architect in me was so amaze on how he ses things with precision to shapes and details. Plus he's so hot (Wentworth Miller) i dont mind watching the episodes 1 to 14 in one sitting. Looks like we have another addition to our watchdown (watch downloaded tv series) hobby. Grey's, House, OC, OTH, Prison Break, Weeds, Desperate Housewives, Six Degrees, maybe i should skip the phone buying to another external hardrive.

5 sticks down, 3 mugs of Davao Arabica, Love song for no one on it's 4th rotation.. somebody should start cooking lunch-ner, and its not me hahahaha

ill sing for you...

posted Sunday, 1 October 2006and so therefore... (7)

ravissant made this comment,

i missed a couple of episodes of the first season of PB. good thing another fox cable network had a marathon before they showed the other half of the 1st season awhile back. i sat through the whole weekend oogling at his gorgeousness! i actually missed a couple of episodes again on the 2nd season since i've been away. but good thing i got to read the synopsis on fox.com.

comment added :: 1st October 2006, 13:38 GMT+08

Shawty made this comment,

grabe ka hot dyud ni wentworth diba?! im still on the 19th episode of first season. pero nadownload na nako episodes ng second season

comment added :: 1st October 2006, 14:28 GMT+08

samplawer made this comment,

one thing i hate about being over here in uk is that i dont get to see the latest of these series.... movies and stuff like that.. we get late.. gosh.. so frustrating.. ingat shawty.. miss you too!!!

comment added :: 2nd October 2006, 05:26 GMT+08

wideyeshut made this comment,

wentworth? gawd, he's rough and i reckon that being wrapped in those arms, it will send your spine tingling. you know, it's like eternity in hell! LOL

comment added :: 2nd October 2006, 10:31 GMT+08 :: http://wideyeshut.livejournal.com/

nina made this comment,

cant wait to see the second season for prison break... is weeds on its second season too? Greys is in its third.. =) Michael Scofield is really gwapo! Ambot... =) hehehe

comment added :: 5th October 2006, 01:00 GMT+08

blueskies made this comment,

there's a big billboard of pb and wentworth's picture is the bigggest out of all of them hanging on the mall. my cousin and i pretend he's looking at us. haha. :D prison break is addicting.

comment added :: 7th October 2006, 20:47 GMT+08

Luannie made this comment,

where is this mall that has this billboard with wentworth on it? hot-hot-hottie! prison break really is addicting. i missed lunch for three weeks in a row just to finish season 1. sa office kasi ako nanonood kasi ayaw ng player namin ng pirated. worth missing three weeks' worth of lunch though. :D

comment added :: 27th October 2006, 13:02 GMT+08 :: http://luannie.blogspot.com

On being scared

When Eubert held my hand after our talk, i felt how scared he was. I just wish that he felt how scared I was for him too. I dont know if to be a good friend you tolerate their shit or you keep them from doing it. Gail told me that you cant help it if your friends do stupid things. That your only responsibility is to make them see their mistake and be honest about it. Its tiring to be the mediator between my friends' capacities to be assholes and their inner goodness. I dont want to be their excuse for them not to take risks. After all, its their call, its their lesson to learn. Ill just be present in the booze session after another wala-diri wala-didto decision is realized.

After recollecting the things ive said to him, It came into me that like him im being torn apart too. Im caught in between the need to have some change of perspective and the want to just take things as slowly (aka procrastination) as possible. The usual problem with me is my very non excisting knack for long term goals. I dont know if its just my defense mechanism to aging or im just one of those people who can never sit still with the thought of the "future" in mind. Somehow, it scares me. The future is still something im apprehensive to imagine worse of all plan about. Im scared that over thinking might ruin what is and what is not instore for me and it might lead to me refusing to grow up and to nevermind those other phenomenas that i shouldnt let pass.

Maybe i have a regression on being young. I miss those days when planning was scary but at the same time a good thing. Now, its just seems too flabbergasting to handle. I hate to admit it, but it took someone to get my senses right. Im scared, damaged and worse somehow along the way I forgot how it was to have something to look forward with atleast a year due date. My come-what-may attitude have if not doubled, tripled. Another square root to it and definetly a disaster is about to happen.

I tried to be in retrospect of what was the most important thing I learned from being legal so I can apply it to the remaining year of my teenhood, and I remembered what my tito said that one eventful night, know your periphery. At first it was too vague to dwell on, but later did I found out that it didnt mean setting my limits but going beyond the safety zone i have always gotten used to. Knowing your periphery is for safety. But going beyond your boundaries is strength, i once told Ron and i cant believe im telling it to myself (again).

I think i should stop being worried of being scared. After all, no one has an excuse not to.

Suprise Fettuccine de T2

posted Tuesday, 12 September 2006 and so therefore... (3)

Jeff made this comment,

Taking that first step out of our boundaries is difficult at first, but it gets easier. Trust me.

comment added :: 15th September 2006, 09:17 GMT+08 :: http://www.equivocality.com

e d made this comment,

ah the future. --> can't comment much. still suffering in the present eh. belated tenz. :)

comment added :: 17th September 2006, 01:42 GMT+08

Flatline made this comment,

jeff: yeah.. if only it was an easy as walking on the treadmill.. thanks jeff ed: salamat ed. hay.. we can only hope that we can move on with our lives.. happy bday pud diha

comment added :: 19th September 2006, 08:20 GMT+08